The Mash Potatoes Of Death
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"The Mash Potatoes of Death"
by: Wes Robert Ward
Hi, my name is Bill Owens, I made some mashed potatoes and it almost tried to kill me one night. Yep, Mash Potatoes of Death is what I called them. And it wasn't a pretty picture.
Yeah, I know, you're scratching your head right now and saying, "What?"
Well, it's true. I thought I'd make some mashed potatoes to go with the baked chicken that I cooked that night for my wife Amy and our kids Jack & Jill who were 8 year old twins.
Things didn't go exactly as I thought. Maybe I should of never gotten the recipe from an old book I found in the library called 'The Necronomicon'.
Well, excuse me if I didn't know it was a demonic book, but it had a great recipe for mashed potatoes in it. I thought it was trustful because it was in between a Betty Crocker recipe book and a Sara Lee recipe book. How did I know it was going to leap out of the pot, say some demonic stuff and run around the house trying to kill us.
I had to throw the kids out the window, it broke my wife's arm with a baseball bat, but she escaped. I had to literally go after the mash potatoes with a chainsaw, but seriously it was mashed potatoes and a chainsaw was pretty much useless.
Anyway short story\u2026 it ate the family cat, almost killed the family dog, bit off my left hand, and burned down our home, then escaped into the dark night as the flames engulfed our beautiful house.
It's out there somewhere, somewhere in the night hiding and waiting to eat. Word of warning to those that encounter it\u2026 make sure you have garlic salt, melted butter, and some oregano. It's the only way to fight it off.
Also be careful reading any recipe books written by Martha Stewart.
The End. \ud83d\udcd6
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